The Voice Of Experience

Every now and then you get an insight into the world of someone who’s living a very public – and very successful – life. I figure it’s best to pay attention when that happens, because you’re likely to be reminded of some truths that we all try to avoid, particularly if that public figure is big on personal responsibility. Well, they don’t loom much larger on that scale than Oprah, who’s just documented the twenty things she ‘knows for sure’.

You can read the whole kit and caboodle online at http://www.oprah.com/article/spirit/inspiration/200811_omag_for_sure_oprah, but in the meantime we’ll just take a look at a few goodies …

“You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.” At Fab Towers, we are big proponents of the joys of authenticity and individual creative expression. Yet it’s one of the hardest maxims to stick by when you’re being pulled every which way but loose by other people’s expectations. Have the courage to hold your centre and you’ll get to create an exceptional life.

“Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.” Another tough one there. We all just love a good wallow, but feeling sorry for yourself and giving someone from the past the power over how you feel today is highly destructive. There is a healing time required after any trauma where we need to explore and release our pain, but it very quickly becomes counter-productive to continue to ruminate over the same issues. All the power at your disposal is right here, right now. Leave the past where it belongs or it will suck the life out of the here and now.

“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.” For the avoidance of doubt, this doesn’t mean being judgemental, but being realistic when someone has been less than respectful of your time, energy or feelings. We particularly like to delude ourselves in the romantic arena by overlooking flaws that have been glaringly obvious from the outset. People show you what they think of you by the way they treat you. Don’t allow people to take up residence in your life if they’re not respectful of who you are, what you need and how you live.

“Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn’t lie.” It may not lie, but we lie to ourselves. As with people showing us who they are, we often over-ride our intuition and that is always going to come with a cost. If you’ve done that, be honest with yourself and notice how you had a nagging feeling things weren’t quite right. Your intuition is always at work, guiding you quietly. You just need to shut up and listen and remember that it won’t always tell you what you want to hear.

“Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.” The big issue here is learning to love yourself first. Extending love to others without self-love is simply sacrifice and that just leaves you drained and resentful. Fill your own well first and you’ll naturally have plenty of love to give to others freely and joyfully. Your own self-acceptance will allow others to feel free to be themselves – and nurture themselves – too.

“Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.” Nothing keeps us more in tune and on song than doing what we love for a living. That’s the holy grail of a working life. Keep that as your major aim and everything else will fall into place. When you’re passionately interested in your own life, you become highly magnetic to good in other areas of your life. If you haven’t managed to make your passion into a career yet, just keep doing it whenever and wherever you can. Self-expression is its own reward.

“When you don’t know what to do, get still. The answer will come.” Stillness is the wellspring of all wisdom. Yet we live in a society that will throw any kind of activity or money at a problem rather than sit still and ponder it for even a few minutes. Be reactionary – learn to embrace the power of stillness. That’s where you’ll learn to calm and comfort yourself and listen clearly to the voice of your intuition, which will lead you down roads you could never have imagined. Get comfortable with silence.

This week, pick one of these pearls of wisdom and reflect on it. Which one stands out for you? How is it showing up in your life? Maybe it’s something that’s working for you – in which case, be very proud of yourself – or maybe it’s something that you already know is true but are trying to avoid taking responsibility about. Write the saying that speaks to you most at the top of your diary page every day for a week. Put it on a sticky note on your desk. Keep reminding yourself of what it is you need to pay attention to and let it work its magic. If it’s working for Oprah, it’s a pretty sure thing that it’s going to work for you too.

Let’s leave the final word to our old friend the genius scientist, Albert Einstein, who seems to have cornered the market in essential wisdom. He tells us “The ideals that have lighted my way time after time and have given me new courage to face life cheerfully have been Kindness, Beauty and Truth”. With that kind of simplicity he could have had an alternative career as a Zen master …

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