Universal Responsibility

Due to some rather pressing deadlines, this week’s I Am Fabulous is brought to you by the Dalai Lama, from whose book, Dzogchen: The Heart Essence of the Great Perfection, these words are taken:

“As human beings, we are all the same. So there is no need to build some kind of artificial barrier between us. At least my own experience is that if you have this kind of attitude, there is no barrier. Whatever I feel, I can express; I can call you 'my old friend'. There is nothing to hide, and no need to say things in a way that is not straightforward. So this gives me a kind of space in my mind, with the result that I do not have to be suspicious of others all the time. And this really gives me inner satisfaction, and inner peace.

“So I call this feeling a 'genuine realisation of the oneness of the whole of humanity'. We are all members of one human family. I think that this understanding is very important, especially now that the world is becoming smaller and smaller. In ancient times, even in a small village, people were able to exist more or less independently. There was not so much need for others' co-operation. These days, the economic structure has completely changed, so that modern economies, relying on industry, are totally different. We are heavily dependent on one another, and also as a result of mass communication, the barriers of the past are greatly reduced.

“Today, because of the complexity of interdependence, every crisis on this planet is essentially related with every other, like a chain reaction. Consequently it is worthwhile taking every crisis as a global one. Here barriers such as 'this nation' or 'that nation', 'this continent', or 'that continent' are simply obstacles. Therefore today, for the future of the human race, it is more important than ever before that we develop a genuine sense of brotherhood and sisterhood. I usually call this a sense of 'universal responsibility'.”

There’s so much to explore in these three short paragraphs – and wish I had the time to do it – that I suggest you really savour them. They might make you wonder if our current crisis is actually leading us toward that greater understanding of how we are all one human family. With that in mind, how could you share your own burden with others or help them share theirs? With whom could you be more honest or more straightforward? How could you extend your trust? Have a week of greater vision, looking beyond the purely personal into how your actions contribute to the greater whole.

Click through to the Coach Fabulous advice column archive by going to http://coachfabulous.blogspot.com/. For alert emails on new postings, email subscribe@iamfabulous.co.uk. The I Am Fabulous archives can now be found at http://fabcentral.blogspot.com/. All material ©2009 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author.

Creative Genius

Oh, I do love finding a new resource to plunder. This week it’s www.ted.com, which has loads of inspiring talks from people in the fields of technology, entertainment and design – ie creative – people, which grew out of an annual conference of the same name. As they say themselves, TED is “a clearing-house that offers free knowledge and inspiration from the world’s most inspired thinkers and also a community of curious souls to engage with ideas and others”. Get thee to TED post-haste for mucho inspiracion.

Of course the talk that caught my immediate attention was one by Elizabeth Gilbert, writer of Eat, Pray, Love. If you’ve not read it, you’ve missed out on one of the most charming memoirs of the modern age, recounting her haphazard journey - post relationship breakdown - through Italy (to eat), India (to pray) and Indonesia (where she found love). Her book has been an enormous international success, leading her to discover just how fear-based most people’s reaction is to what might come next for her. The question she is now most asked is “Aren’t you afraid you’re never going to top that?”. As she remarks with searing honesty, “It’s exceedingly likely that my greatest success is behind me - that’s the kind of thought that could lead a person to start drinking gin at nine in the morning”.

As a coping mechanism, Elizabeth decided it was necessary to create some psychological separation between herself and her work, finding inspiration in the creative process as it was viewed in ancient Greece and Rome. As she points out, in those eras creativity “was this divine attendant spirit that came to the artist from a distant and unknowable source”. The Greeks called them daimon and the Romans called them genius. They believed those spirits lived in the walls of the artists studios and gave them the inspiration for their work. The Renaissance shifted the focus of inspiration, making it a human endeavour, thereby endowing artists with genius rather than acknowledging a divine source. With the creative power now attributed to individuals, we have the birthplace of performance anxiety and the tortured artistic temperament. When the weight of inspiration passed from the divine to the human, we created a load far greater than any of us could bear.

Now, thankfully, we are beginning to make a reconnection with the ancient idea of a creative muse. It certainly helps to open the creative floodgates when you’re not torturing yourself with self-doubt and you realise you’re only responsible for part of the equation. You get to show up for the work and the divine gets to do its part with the inspiration. I think that’s a fair exchange.

Elizabeth tells a great story about having interviewed the musician, Tom Waits, who’d spent most of his career wrestling with the creative demons within him, struggling to bring forth what he believed to be springing from inside himself. As he mellowed, he started to take a different viewpoint. One day, as he was driving along the freeway in LA, he heard a fragment of a melody in his head, but had no way to write it down. At that point, feeling the old anxiety, wondering if he was going to lose it and feeling the usual self-doubt, he took a different tack, looking up to the sky and saying “Excuse me, can you not see that I’m driving?”. He thought to himself something like ‘I have no way of writing this down, so if you want it to take shape in the world, either save it for later or give it to another songwriter’. At that point, his focus shifted from tortured artist to caretaker of a divine inspiration.

Elizabeth Gilbert says she felt something similar in writing her follow-up book to Eat, Pray, Love. One day, having a hard time writing – and hating what she’d written – she said to the divine “Listen, you and I both know if this book is not brilliant, it’s not entirely my fault – if you want it to be better, you’ve got to show up. For the record, I showed up for my part of the job”.

Those stories remind me a lot of the best book I’ve ever read on the creative process – The War Of Art, by Steven Pressfield. He covers very similar territory, stressing the importance of showing up at the keyboard, the canvas or whatever is your creative medium. We can’t wait for the muse to strike before we begin our part of the deal – we need to show up and be doing our part of the job for the creative spirits to kick in and do theirs.

So, this week, folks, decide what your art is and do the work. If you’re waiting for divine inspiration before you begin a painting, a novel, a dance, whatever – start showing up and doing it, trusting that the divine will play along with you. Remember that if you want to be creative, you don’t have to be a tortured soul – all art is co-creation and the beauty and success of it is not all entirely in your hands. Take some pressure off and play with the pure fun of exploring your relationship with your fabulous creative genius.

Click through to the Coach Fabulous advice column archive by going to http://coachfabulous.blogspot.com/. For alert emails on new postings, email subscribe@iamfabulous.co.uk. The I Am Fabulous archives can now be found at http://fabcentral.blogspot.com/. All material ©2009 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author.

Feeling Lucky?

As a regular reader, you'll know the writing process – as I experience it – tends to be rather serendipitous. If I hang around at the keyboard long enough, something tends to turn up. This evening, feeling rather frazzled from the first day on a new project, inspiration appeared to be in short supply. Still, using my tried and true technique, I hung around for a bit and exactly what I needed dropped in my lap.

First to arrive was this quote, from Roald Dahl, which I was mentally ear-marking for another day – “Above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”

Hmm … I knew this post was going to end up being something around intuition and the need to stay awake for new opportunities, but here was the first concrete evidence that would be the way it would go, apart from my own current experience. What I’m working on right now came through a conversation, rather than actively seeking it through the normal channels. It came from staying open to possibility. That I chose to pursue it further came from an inner knowing that this was somehow right for me, even if it didn’t tick all the boxes on the surface.

Before this happened, I found myself dwelling on a Sufi meditation from my training as a spiritual counsellor – one where you acknowledge the past, feel yourself grounded in the present and feel the pull of the future. I had asked for the pull of the future to make itself known and Voila!, it did. Some ancient magic in that practice, I think.

So, back to tonight. I was mulling over what to write, when I came across some research on making your own luck. Only a few days ago I’d read a charming story of a couple who’d dated in their teens, both relocated to the States and found each other again when the guy suddenly emailed out of the blue after 13 years. They re-connected instantly and are now engaged to be married. What’s fascinating about the story is that the woman had left a relationship she described as having “broken down to a level of unworkable disrespect” and decided to live a happy single life rather than be lonely in a relationship. Her fiancé-to-be had gone through a ‘life’s too short’ moment when his father had a cancer scare and decided to grasp the nettle on a connection he’d long felt was ‘the one’, despite years of no contact. Both had made choices affirming what they wanted from life and now they were reaping the benefits.

Then the luck research recounted a similarly charming tale of a couple who’d met in the dry cleaners because the woman was chatty and flirty, because she’d just secured a hard-won tenure and now decided it was time to live life rather than work. So, in case you aren’t already sensing a theme, it’s time to get with the programme by following hunches and anticipating that good things will be coming your way. Here’s the science bit, so concentrate …

Richard Wiseman PhD – who holds Britain’s only professorship in the public understanding of psychology – says “Luck is not a magical ability or a gift from the gods … Instead, it is a way of thinking and behaving”. He devised an experiment where two individuals – one who perceived himself as lucky and another with a self-perception of lucklessness – were invited to the same place on the same premise, with a number of staged ‘chance encounters’ to see if their experiences would tally. One of the possibilities was finding a £5 note left on the pavement and another was meeting a ‘millionaire’ contact. Unsurprisingly, the ‘lucky’ guy hit the jackpot by spotting the money and randomly talking to the faux millionaire, while the other walked straight past the money and talked to no-one. As Wiseman puts it, “Same opportunities. Different lives.”

He says “Lucky people create, notice and act upon the chance opportunities in their lives … Being in the right place at the right time is actually all about being in the right state of mind.” Wiseman believes that putting yourself out there – even in the most minor way – can exponentially increase the connections (and potential chance opportunities) available to you. If you meet even one new person, he notes – as the average person typically knows around 300 people by name – that you’re “only two handshakes away from 300 times 300 people, so that’s 90,000 new possibilities for a new opportunity, just by saying hello”. Those are some fabulous stats. Just one ‘hello’ could utterly change your life …

This week expect good things in your life and act accordingly. If you get a hunch, don’t ignore it – act on it. Smile at someone you don’t know. Engage a stranger in conversation. Anticipate a pleasant surprise and keep your eyes open for it. This could be your lucky day.

Click through to the Coach Fabulous advice column archive by going to http://coachfabulous.blogspot.com/. For alert emails on new postings, email subscribe@iamfabulous.co.uk. The I Am Fabulous archives can now be found at http://fabcentral.blogspot.com/. All material ©2009 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author.

Creative Obstacles

If you feel like you’ve signed up for the hurdle race in life right about now, what if you realised that actually could be the case? The very talented intuitive astrologer, Robert Ohotto, is currently doing promos for his book, Transforming Fate Into Destiny, including posting interviews on YouTube that shed a little light on all sorts of subjects, including creative obstacles and how to discern them from what he calls fated redirections.

Basically, when you run up against problem after problem, how do you know if that’s just par for the course in the grand scheme of things or if each block is a sign trying to redirect you to a path that’s better for you? Thankfully, we now have the Ohotto take on that question, which makes rather good sense. He speaks from a soul perspective, assuming that we sign up for certain fated experiences in our lives to develop the character traits to bring forth our destinies. As he puts it, some people start off in life, hit hurdle after hurdle and begin to give up, thinking they’re on the wrong path, but those hurdles could be exactly what’s required for them. Ohotto imagines that from a higher perspective “God says ‘ You signed up for the hurdle race – what do you think is going to happen? There’s hurdles on the race!’ Hurdles like that are about ‘you’re on the right path’ – it’s part of the race and the journey of life – but you’re going to have to develop the stamina and agility you need to get over that hurdle and keep going.”

He adds, “Creative obstacles aren’t there to stop you, but are there to say you’ve got to buoy up your soul and really work hard to get different character traits ready for the next aspect of your purpose. Fated redirections, however, come up when people are maybe on a path that isn’t intrinsically authentic to them, but believe it is because of a cultural spell or a wound in themselves”.

This is explains one of life’s greater questions – why do so many people go on American Idol if they can’t sing? For Ohotto, the answer is clear – they are acting from an inner wound that perhaps feels like they’ve never been seen, so they chase a larger audience, or they fall under a cultural spell which convinces them that fame is the only answer to the validation they seek.

That rather reminds me of the gloriously vacuous character Suzanne, played by Nicole Kidman in Gus Van Sant’s wonderfully dark film, ‘To Die For’. One of her teenage coterie of admirers remarks “Suzanne used to say that you’re not really anybody in America unless you’re on TV … cause what’s the point of doing anything worthwhile if there's nobody watching? So when people are watching, it makes you a better person. So if everybody was on TV all the time, everybody would be better people. But, if everybody was on TV all the time, there wouldn't be anybody left to watch, and that's where I get confused”. I hear you sister – with that set of values, who wouldn’t be a little mixed up?

In Ohotto’s terms, you get sent fated redirections – rather than life’s usual hurdle race – when you’re chasing a purpose that “really isn’t authentic to the design that you contracted to from the level of your soul”. If it’s a fated redirection, he says “You’ll know because if you get honest with yourself you don’t really have a passion for it – rather you’re going through the shadow, wounded part of yourself to try to get something to make your ego feel healed and better.” The way to discern between the two is whether or not you have a genuine passion for the path you’re on and the life you’re living.

He stresses that life is cyclical and “as we move through life, different creative forces awaken and different passions show up that maybe we never thought we had before. Passion to me is when you connect to something that energises you that gives you a sense of meaning and purpose that makes you want to get out of bed to do, and that somehow allows you to expand yourself and bring something unique about yourself forward.”

Ohotto concludes, “Destiny is born out of honouring the most unique aspects of who you are and serving others through them. Destiny is ultimately about the service we were born to fulfil to other people through the unique aspects of who we are and embodying those unique aspects of who we are in the most satisfying way … Destiny is exploring the mystery of who you are, exploring what you don’t know about yourself, it’s being open to the unseen forces within yourself and allowing them to come out and transform you and other people at the same time. Destiny is never really fully done – just because you’re on a path that seems keeps bringing you obstacles, doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path necessarily, what it requires you to do is discern what motivates you to do what you do … If you start to go within, that inner pilgrimage, and do the work of sourcing some uniqueness out of yourself into the world that’s when the universe rises to meet you, synchronicities happen right left and centre and the dream becomes much bigger than you thought it would”. Amen to that.

So, this week, take a good look at the hurdles cropping up in your life. Do they feel like road-blocks trying to divert your path or creative obstacles bringing you an opportunity to develop new or stronger character traits? Are you behaving like a classic American Idol contestant in some part of your life, trying to pursue something you have no real talent for? Or are you giving up too soon on something you feel really passionate about? Would you be on the path you’re on if there were no discernible reward in the outside world, ie would you do it without the money or applause? If the answer’s no, what are you genuinely passionate about? These are not times to resign yourself to taking the money – if you want all the synchronicity and help the universe can give, you’d better be engaged in something you really love. Passion is the word this week. Use it wisely.

If you want to see Robert Ohotto talk this concept through, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX7Ty1-ymw4.

Click through to the Coach Fabulous advice column archive by going to http://coachfabulous.blogspot.com/. For alert emails on new postings, email subscribe@iamfabulous.co.uk. The I Am Fabulous archives can now be found at http://fabcentral.blogspot.com/. All material ©2009 Alison Porter. No article may be reproduced in full or in part without the express permission of the author.